Lovingheart

This morning I was thinking about the second part to the tale of woe. I am so lucky. Though it wasn’t often easy I was able to ‘fly’ through the challenging times of Linsy’s sickness by counting the ways I was lucky. There were many times where I had other things I wanted to be doing – getting meals ready, getting outside for a bit, and whatever else (how selfish is that?). Of course with her not being well she just wanted mommy and daddy to be right there all the time. Often I was able to lie there with her and drift off into my ‘gratitude list’. Lying in bed beside her nursing her and thinking how lucky I am to have a comfortable bed to lie on, how lucky I am to be able to breastfeed, live in such a wonderful place, have a daughter to nurse in the first place, and on and on. It sure does make things easier. And then there are times like this evening where that list is out the window and finding gratitude for much feels challenging. Caught in the negati

My tale of woe Well ya’ll know my computer monitor has not been fully functioning for a while. Well now it is completely non-functioning – white screen when the computer is on and has been this way (minus an hour) for about a month now. No big deal except it means the kids can’t watch DVDs and certain videos because they just don’t work on the new monitor. Well at least I have a monitor. At least until last week that is. Now the new monitor that is attached to the laptop is shorting out as well. Last week I came to my computer in the evening and it was black. Couldn’t get it back. Tried Paco’s monitor. Didn’t work either. Great – my computer is toast if I can’t view what is on it. Luckily I was able to get it back working again after a break. Since that time it blacks out quite regularly. What this mean to me is that I need to be prepared that in the near future it is likely to black out for good. Keep backups up-to-date. The interesting bi

Years ago I turned away from the god I had been brought up with. Too much judgment, too much living in fear, and somehow there just seemed to be too much hypocrisy. My defenses were on with the mere mention of the word ‘god’ and I was closed to hearing anything on the subject. As my path progressed I opened up to greater spirituality which included a great appreciation for all that is, for angels, for the many beings beyond our human eyes. Slowly but surely I also brought more of an appreciation for god in whatever form was right at that moment. This appreciation and comfort is really an ongoing process. I continue to grow and let go of my judgment of the character that I once considered too judgmental. My beliefs don’t follow any organized religion and they can be varied and change from moment to moment. A while back my sister hooked me onto a site that offers a sort of tutorial on opening up to the voice of god within . I view our individual voice of god as our higher self and at the

LB is more aware of letters and is interested in which words start with which letters. This is mostly started by PM as he has just gone through this where most names become ‘What is the first letter of …?’ This morning we were in the kitchen. PM was lying on the floor (not feeling well at all, poor guy) and LB started in on the ‘What is the first letter of …?’ Actually she can tell me the first letter of Paco quite easily and of Linsy and of Shera. We went through all the letters of Paco and Linsy and mom. Occasionally I will ask them which one it is. PM knows his letters and sounds more and more. LB on the other hand, well let’s just say most of it is guess work. ‘What’s the first letter of peach?’ ‘A!’ ‘pppP’ ‘What’s the first letter of plum?’ ‘A!’ ‘pppP’ ‘What’s the first letter of pear?’ ‘A!’ ‘pppP’ ‘What’s the first letter of pineapple?’ ‘A!’ ‘pppP’ ‘What’s the first letter of mango?’ ‘A!’ ‘mmmM’ ‘What’s the first letter of apple?’ ‘T!’ ‘A!’ ‘Wha

Change is afoot. Struggle and resistance to that change is also present. That creates more struggle. It is stressful. The constant back and forth in the mind. The free-flowing ease of living with what is, and then, the questioning, the counting, the naming and the blah blah blah of the inner voice and the pain as a result of the lack of peace. So many healing modalities and there is much value in all of them I am sure. Perhaps it is just the places I frequent but seems to be more and more. People are realizing that many of us are searching. Searching for healing, searching for peace of mind, searching for success, searching for a free life with love and happiness. All of these modalities will offer you a path in that direction. Heck the internet really is a great tool for that. Spend hundreds of dollars here and there and your life will be perfect. Well not really because after all of this you are still human and still living in an imperfect world. Wh