Lovingheart

I suppose it's a good thing I have nothing to say. Marlon was telling me about a dream he had last night about a Pizza Zombie Apocalypse.  He said he felt confused by it when he woke up but he wasn't scared. Though Linsy could have driven herself to see Luc, I like an excuse to see the puppies.  They are so mesmerizing and change so much, so fast. Now that things are calming down, I think about running away.  I realize it is nothing other than myself and my shortcomings I may want to escape from.  Decisions about work and when and how to return, doing things but not accomplishing enough, and just not being perfect.  And I know we all have things we would like to change.  We are all human and that means imperfections and sometimes we are more accepting of ourselves than others.  Ah well, I stay and do what I can to be the best I can.  And I have so much to be grateful for…

Last dose of steroids this morning.  Another round in a couple of months.  Still regular pills. In some ways, he is feeling fine but then today he told me his left ankle is weak and hurts.  It is normally his right one that is weak.  At bedtime, he said his back has been sore on and off for a while.  I don't think any of these things are serious.  I imagine if he feels something new or uncomfortable, he feels concern.  Fear of cancer returning sounds fairly common after one has had a diagnosis.  And while the chemo has eased up, he is still getting some and it will take a while for him to feel stronger and healthier. Overall, it was a decent day and he sure has a good appetite! He was inspired to draw another cat.  Cute.

Marlon had a bit of Minecraft time with friends to start the day and end it.  He did come to the market and then I brought him to see the puppies.  Another mom and I were agreeing it is a huge gift to be able to hold the little puppies and watch their development.  They are just able to walk but wobble and fall down.  Starting to play together and practice barks.  One even ran a few steps.  So much change in just two weeks. Marlon wanted soup today and was remembering one his dad made last year when he was in the hospital.  I tried but failed to make a good soup.  He said it was bland and not a good mix of spices. Oh well. He's been making cranes lately rather than new designs.  He will never make 10,000 but there are several hanging around. He put question marks all around this because he didn't know what it was.

I thought that this round of steroids doesn't seem to be affecting Marlon too badly and then I berated myself for it.  We still have a few more days to go and the side effects can happen.  What kind?  Well, food cravings, often a strong desire for food, they are there but mild.  Crazy moods.  One mom was saying her son and his dad keep getting into fights when the boy is on steroids.  His mood goes crazy and his dad falls into the trap.  The other side effect that affects Marlon is sleeplessness.  Even though he is tired, he is unable to sleep.  We'll see how that plays out. I said to him tonight, he can start getting his life back, building up his strength, doing more.  At this time though, all he wants are audiobooks, videos, and Minecraft.  Hopefully, he can at least spend time with friends. My siblings and I from a few years ago at my sister's cottage.  It was amusing with our brother sleeping and oblivious.

Marlon was unimpressed that I was not around much today.  In the morning, Linsy and I helped a friend move, and it was a late lunch by the time we got back.  I picked up subway and made the mistake of getting mayo on his pizza sub.  He did not like it.  I messed up.  He was upset. In the afternoon, Linsy had an appointment and afterward, we dropped some things off at Kim's new place. Marlon felt quite sick for a while in the evening but it passed. When he had long hair, he liked his 'tail' and the attention the long hair got him.  It was sad to let it go.  With his sickness, he gets a different sort of attention and he feels more uncomfortable with it.  He doesn't know how to react.  Fair enough.  As his good health is more consistent, how he is perceived will change again.  That will be another adjustment. None of these pictures are very recent but some nice braids.

I finished listening to the book, The Song of Achilles.  Not my normal kind of book but it was well written and puts a more personal spin on an Ancient Greek hero.  Because I asked him a question about Paris,  Marlon and I were discussing Helen of Troy.  He thought the book I was reading was incorrect but turned out he misread something.  So we both learned. Linsy, Marlon, and I visited the puppies this afternoon.  Marlon doesn't have the patience for hanging out there too long but he brought a book and folded some of his usual origami: boxes, cranes, penguins No, the cat was not visiting the puppies but Linsy and I were laughing at his position and seeming comfort.  After the picture, Linsy stood up and Mojo decided it was no longer the best position as he had to steal her chair. After puppies, we went to Macmillans and Sobeys.  Among other things, I got fixings to make our own poutine.  Well sort of, still not from scratch, but it was good.   Marlon is on steroids this week so I