March 4, 2021
No particular reason for this but a down day. A blue day. Hmm writing this makes me think of a book Marlon and I listened to together, Born on a Blue Day, the story of a savant, Daniel Tammet. We listened to it over a year ago, and there have been several blue days since then. Seeing Marlon lacking any motivation to do much other than sit and listen to books is disheartening. Then again, I too, am uninspired. Not motivated. Just another day. I know we all have days where we aren't feeling it.
When we were getting close to the hospital on Tuesday, I looked out the window and saw a hawk close by in a tree. It felt like a good sign. Today, I went into Guelph. Driving down the road, I looked and saw a bird flying next to the car. I slowed down to be driving close to the same speed, in awe of this moment. My first thought was a hawk but it seemed small for that, maybe a falcon. In its clutch, was a dangling animal, a red squirrel I think. It flew off into a clearing in the trees and I continued on my way. It felt like an honour to witness.
Other than the fact he didn't do much, Marlon was feeling surprisingly good (well) today. Ready to go back to the hospital in the morning. At first, he didn't want to know what was to be expected with his treatment. He didn't want to be a part of the discussion. Tonight, we spoke of some of what tomorrow would look like. Acceptance.