Decembrer 16, 2020

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 I take that back

Let the break continue.  Oh please.

No, not more chemo.  The call comes to have Marlon go back to the hospital and my system screams NO!  He is feeling fine.  He is good.  Why do we have to subject him to more pain and suffering and sickness??  Oh, how I would just love to walk away from this.  His leukemia is pretty much gone, but in the past, if they stop treatment at this time, it all comes right back.  But, but, but….  He is fine.  But maybe he isn't?!?  We don't know but just in case.  Argh

This was my reaction this morning when the call came to come to the hospital today for checkup and admission.  I have calmed down and am going with the flow.

We signed up for the study.  There is the chance we stay in the standard stream, which is more intense.  The other option is another treatment they are trying (not such a new one anymore), that is less intense.  If I had a choice, I (we all) would have picked the second option.  There is no choice.  The information is entered into the system, randomized, and we are told what stream of treatment we follow.  Nerve-wracking wait.  The doctor came back with Laura, and I thought her look was apologetic, but it was not.  Marlon is following the other option.  Still intense, but not as bad as the standard.  The next 8 weeks look pretty rough!  He is in the hospital now, will be for about 4 days, and then every two weeks for 3-4 days for the same chemo to be administered. 

Not the quiet of home. Loud fans. Neighbours in other rooms.  Lights here and there. But eventually, we will sleep and treatment will start in the morning.  Ho hum, here we go again.  This time, Marlon is starting from a much stronger place. We trust that will help.

He had his computer time and is reading his book.

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