October 15, 2020

 'Mom, why do I have to feel so sick?!?'  Those pleading eyes. Please fix it for me.  

The headache was still there when Marlon woke up this morning.  Today's rainy drive was so much different from yesterday's bright, sunny one.  At the clinic they suggest Tylenol for his headache which he said no to.  So Judy said some people find that caffeine helps.  Before we left, I bought Marlon a hot chocolate and added some of my green tea to it.  He enjoyed the drink but it didn't change his headache at all.  When we got home I gave him some kombucha as well.  After one sip he was nauseous and hanging over the container.  He retched and gagged over it for quite a while before everything finally did come up.  He didn't feel any better.  Just kept throwing up until he feel asleep.

I had planned to go into Guelph to run a few errands.  He said he didn't want me to go.  After he fell asleep Thomas agreed I might as well leave.  Perhaps we were thinking he would have a long nap like he did the other day.  I hadn't even made it to Guelph (driven by Peter) and there was a message saying he woke up and was still throwing up.  After a while he was ok for a bit and then not again.  I had 5 stops to make and was not very fast to return.  By the time I did, Thomas was stressed and tired.  Marlon was using the distraction of computer.

In the evening he did manage to drink and eat and keep his food down but that headache is still raging in him. He was looking for connections between the days.  If I don't eat or drink anything during the car ride, I will be ok.  Who knows, but if he thinks something may work I am happy for him to believe it and prove it to be so.

This whole experience has been very humbling in more ways than I can count.  The helpfulness and kind loving, caring support that is all around.  The volunteers. The doctors that know so much.  I can be soft but I am obstinate and head strong and don't take orders or even direction very well.  I'd really like to hope I am learning but there are so many layers to observe and unravel. What do I know? Who am I to have an opinion? This isn't my battle, I am a support person…


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