September 30, 2020

 September 30, 2020


' My life is nothing but pain, torture, and suffering!'. Marlon's outburst for the day which included several variations of the line above and tears and that pleading look in his eyes.  I am sorry to say that today was another bad day.  

In yesterday's 'wail' report I hinted at something I had done or not done (aka dropped the ball).  Marlon is bunged up.  So today he was in constant discomfort with abdominal and stomach pain.  He didn't want to eat or drink or move.  Sat there, crying ever so often and plugged into his audiobook.  So down, so hard to witness.  And of course I feel like I should have gotten something in him sooner to get his bowels moving again and I was slow to move.  I was warned this could happen but at first he was very regular.  I could have prevented this.

The pills have been more of a struggle and today was particularly bad, having to take a break after every pill or two.

Speaking of pills, today was his last day of taking Prednisone, for now, but they will come back.  Seven pills in the morning and seven at night.  And though they were fairly small pills the flavour made him gag or throw up if it wasn't properly hidden in the ice cream.

At the end of the day today Marlon was saying maybe he does want a feeding tube.   He wouldn't have to eat or drink or take his pills by mouth.  I did let him know it would be quite uncomfortable.  Is it giving up?  I really don't know.  Is it the right choice for him?  It is his decision. It wouldn't be my choice but his weight is a concern.    

Tomorrow at the hospital he will have lumbar puncture (chemo injected into back) and bone marrow taken to be tested.  And we will see if anything can be done to help his bowels along.  And we will find out more about the tube.  Yikes!!!


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