More on our loss

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I feel for Mojo – the one that is left behind. Is he depressed? Does he miss her? If he found her body would he know it was her or just think it was a body? I look at him and wonder but I really don't know what is going on for the cat. If it was her she would let us know I'm sure. She would be meowing and acting restless. Sometimes I think he is restless but I just don't know.

Today Thomas made a memorial in the woods. A place where the kids can come and connect with Star if they miss her. We said our goodbyes. Paco has tears on and off. Linsy seems almost oblivious to the whole thing. I feel sad for the loss.

When walking I am still on the lookout for a little black anything that might be her. I still whistle sometimes and look around in case she is following me.

In the evenings Paco and I would often go for a walk together. Sometimes the cats would choose to join us. Happily chasing after us for a while and then they would fall behind a bit or start meowing more. We would carry them for a short bit and they continued on with us.

One evening we kept going when the cats fell behind. We left them by the woods on the side of the field figuring they could easily make their way back. In the morning there was still no sign of the cats. The kids and I went for a walk and then retraced our walk from the night before. There were the cats, right where we left them the evening before. Mojo came out to greet us whereas Star peeked out from in the trees. Paco went to go pick her up to bring her back and she ran further into the woods. So we walked back and Mojo followed us more closely while Star stayed back and followed us from more of a distance. But still she was there and following.

So now she is not around to follow us anymore or to walk with her. She and Mojo can't romp together.

And life goes on...

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