The end of a phase…

Construction is no longer the be all and end all in PM’s life. Oh sure, he still likes to dig holes all over the place, lay pipes, and still occasionally plays with his trucks for construction purposes. But now his fascination is about guns, guards, wars, armies, military, well you get it.

The construction phase has been an easy one to deal with. I never looked forward to the dinosaur phase – I really don’t get the fascination so many kids have with those huge prehistoric creatures with names that are bigger than their pictures. I learned to appreciate the big moving machines and the folks that work in those trades. I could feel good about imagining PM as a trade worker. Of course I didn’t really expect it to last into his adulthood though that’s not to say it isn’t a nice thought.

Now the hunting and gun and fighting phase is not so easy. I can’t fathom that there is any real understanding of the true destruction that comes from these things. The other day he asked if a lot of people were killed by soldiers. I said yes there was a lot – many, many. And he responded that there were still a lot of people that weren’t killed. Yes, but… I then explained to him that if something happened to his daddy he would feel a great loss but there would still be a lot of other people around. Not sure if that was overstepping the boundaries of discussing these fascinations in a safe but real way.

This seems to be the age that kids get into guns and killing and superheroes. I’m imagining that superheroes fall into the same category. It’s partially about finding your power, finding a way to feel safe in an overwhelming world where there is so much that is out of your control (OK I have serious control issues so that’s where this belief comes from), and I guess there is some sort of trying to make sense of death. I’m sure there is a lot more other than the fact that it is a ‘boy’ thing.

So I go along with this phase and remain as supportive as I can and also try to be as realistic as I can while he learns and experiments with this other side of life. Who knows where it will lead to but there is no attempting to close it out of his life – we know that doesn’t work. We will learn together and wait and see – at least he still likes Richard Scarry…

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