The end of a phase…

-

Construction is no longer the be all and end all in PM’s life. Oh sure, he still likes to dig holes all over the place, lay pipes, and still occasionally plays with his trucks for construction purposes. But now his fascination is about guns, guards, wars, armies, military, well you get it.

The construction phase has been an easy one to deal with. I never looked forward to the dinosaur phase – I really don’t get the fascination so many kids have with those huge prehistoric creatures with names that are bigger than their pictures. I learned to appreciate the big moving machines and the folks that work in those trades. I could feel good about imagining PM as a trade worker. Of course I didn’t really expect it to last into his adulthood though that’s not to say it isn’t a nice thought.

Now the hunting and gun and fighting phase is not so easy. I can’t fathom that there is any real understanding of the true destruction that comes from these things. The other day he asked if a lot of people were killed by soldiers. I said yes there was a lot – many, many. And he responded that there were still a lot of people that weren’t killed. Yes, but… I then explained to him that if something happened to his daddy he would feel a great loss but there would still be a lot of other people around. Not sure if that was overstepping the boundaries of discussing these fascinations in a safe but real way.

This seems to be the age that kids get into guns and killing and superheroes. I’m imagining that superheroes fall into the same category. It’s partially about finding your power, finding a way to feel safe in an overwhelming world where there is so much that is out of your control (OK I have serious control issues so that’s where this belief comes from), and I guess there is some sort of trying to make sense of death. I’m sure there is a lot more other than the fact that it is a ‘boy’ thing.

So I go along with this phase and remain as supportive as I can and also try to be as realistic as I can while he learns and experiments with this other side of life. Who knows where it will lead to but there is no attempting to close it out of his life – we know that doesn’t work. We will learn together and wait and see – at least he still likes Richard Scarry…

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

November 10, 2022 (2)

-
Image
Today, I dropped Marlon off at outdoor school and met up with a friend I have only seen a handful of times in the last 20+ years.  She was in the area for the passing of a family member. i then went for a walk with Mina.  I watched and she poised herself in hunting position and pounced.  I saw a squirrel run up a tiny little tree but also heard this pitiful whining.  At first, confused, I wondered if she had pounced on a nest in the ground.  But the dog ran to me, crying and whining, holding up her paw.  We were a ways from home and she hobbled carefully home after we sat for a while and she calmed down.  She will often run the perimeter of fields, running this way and that.  I saw her longing to run the field as we made our way back but she was uncomfortable and limping. A short while later, I went to pick up Marlon and watched in amazement as he hobbled to the car.  Yes, he had hurt his foot within an hour of the dog hurting herself.  Both boy and dog are limping.  Just as they were
Read more

July 7, 2022

-
Image
On May 23rd, the week before the chemo that weakened Marlon enough to put him in the hospital, the dog, the boy, and I drove to Montreal. (I am aware of the use of the word 'go' when writing. In German, the verb 'to go' means walking. You don't 'go' in a car.) Before we left, as I was packing up the car, I noticed a fair sized spider web between the driver's side view mirror and the car. I left it alone, figuring the wind would blow it off. It was so nice to see Linsy and Moira and spend time with them. I have missed having Linsy around. It was neat that, when we got there, Olivia, Jamey, and Roka, their dog, were there. They live 15 minutes away from us but were there visiting their son. Mina was definitely happy to see Roka (and all the others too).   Mina got used to walking on sidewalks and being in the city. Other people and dogs, not so much. Moira has given me a belt with a dog lead on it for hands-free walking. It worked but was even bett
Read more

July 5, 2022

-
Image
Decision was made that Marlon was to go check blood counts on Monday.  We drove down to Hamilton together, quick finger poke, and then leave again.  A couple of times, we drove around the parking garage for almost a half-hour looking for a spot, but Monday was smooth.  Busy place. Blood counts are good so dental work begins.  Marlon's doctor was impressed with the dentist when she spoke with him last week.  In support, I sit next to him in the dentist's room and hope my own anxiety, discomfort, and fear don't affect him. Halfway through the drilling of four teeth which was quite intense, they took a little break to check in with Marlon and see if he was up to continue.  He agreed to do more but said he was most concerned about the tastes of the filling material.  With the pain and discomfort of the first part, one would think that would be the least of his worries but he is very sensitive to taste and flavour.  As it turned out he didn't gag or react too strongly so I g
Read more