Two year old talk and five year old traits
Interpreting the talk of a two year old isn’t always easy. Lately there is much more of the whine factor added in and this makes it even harder. Often it doesn’t seem like such a big deal but if she gets upset about something and insists on you solving problem which she is telling you about in complete whine and cry mode it is real challenge. I get a sense of victory when I get that emphatic ‘yeah!’ which tells me I guessed the right answer. Of course if I am clueless to what she is talking about this makes it even worse.
Here is an example with close approximation of what one would hear.
Wannn, doo, breee, pore, vive, icks, ewen, aite, aing, enn,…
In this case it is not so hard to understand what is being said – numbers (yes they are numbers) are said with a certain rhythm and often are spoken in order. If we’re talking colours that is pretty easy too and she is very into mentioning the different colours lately. As a guess I would say that yellow is the favourite.
PM is his amazing 5 year old self. I can feel such good feelings when I watch him treating his sister with such compassion and empathy. He will do his utmost to help her with whatever it is at moment. They will play together and he will include her in. Then he is directing the movement and telling her what to do and how to do it and things go awry. She digs in her heels and resists and he becomes determined that it must be this way. Eventually something gives only unfortunately it is often my patience.
One trait I have a hard time with is ‘one upmanship’. I will see him rubbing something in her face. ‘Look what I have!’ ‘I have more than you do!’ ‘Don’t you want to do this? You really want this don’t you?’ It is a way of talking that gets her riled up and needing whatever it is he is teasing her about and then I am left with her in tears and in need of solutions that aren’t always apparent. I have seen and heard this conspiratorial way in others his age but that doesn’t make it any easier to handle. I just want him to leave her alone and do what it is he is doing without rubbing it in and attempting to get a reaction. I want her to stay away from him and ignore him but of course she adores him and often feels that what he is making such a big deal about must be pretty special and important.
PM is my sheepdog or Border collie. Everyone has to stay together. If LB is refusing to get into the car and I pretend to be going without her he freaks out. ‘She has to come with us. We can’t leave LB here!’ If we are walking somewhere and she falls a few steps behind PM is jumping up and down trying to corral her into walking more closely to us. She resists this and then will either walk slower or stop altogether. Then I end up with two upset kids. PM is certain of impending doom when we are not in a very close knit group and LB is upset at being held onto or told where to go and how. She really does not like it if he holds onto her in an overprotective way.
In this kind of situation I just try to remain calm and let PM know we will stay together. I do my best to show him how we are safe and reassure him that we will stay together. I figure someday it won’t be such a big issue for him. When I am calm about it I can just appreciate his concern and love and feel blessed that he is exactly the way he is. When I’m uptight about the situation I think it would do me some good to give myself a big dose of compassion and understanding so that I have more to pass onto the kids. I’m working on that.
Here is an example with close approximation of what one would hear.
Wannn, doo, breee, pore, vive, icks, ewen, aite, aing, enn,…
In this case it is not so hard to understand what is being said – numbers (yes they are numbers) are said with a certain rhythm and often are spoken in order. If we’re talking colours that is pretty easy too and she is very into mentioning the different colours lately. As a guess I would say that yellow is the favourite.
PM is his amazing 5 year old self. I can feel such good feelings when I watch him treating his sister with such compassion and empathy. He will do his utmost to help her with whatever it is at moment. They will play together and he will include her in. Then he is directing the movement and telling her what to do and how to do it and things go awry. She digs in her heels and resists and he becomes determined that it must be this way. Eventually something gives only unfortunately it is often my patience.
One trait I have a hard time with is ‘one upmanship’. I will see him rubbing something in her face. ‘Look what I have!’ ‘I have more than you do!’ ‘Don’t you want to do this? You really want this don’t you?’ It is a way of talking that gets her riled up and needing whatever it is he is teasing her about and then I am left with her in tears and in need of solutions that aren’t always apparent. I have seen and heard this conspiratorial way in others his age but that doesn’t make it any easier to handle. I just want him to leave her alone and do what it is he is doing without rubbing it in and attempting to get a reaction. I want her to stay away from him and ignore him but of course she adores him and often feels that what he is making such a big deal about must be pretty special and important.
PM is my sheepdog or Border collie. Everyone has to stay together. If LB is refusing to get into the car and I pretend to be going without her he freaks out. ‘She has to come with us. We can’t leave LB here!’ If we are walking somewhere and she falls a few steps behind PM is jumping up and down trying to corral her into walking more closely to us. She resists this and then will either walk slower or stop altogether. Then I end up with two upset kids. PM is certain of impending doom when we are not in a very close knit group and LB is upset at being held onto or told where to go and how. She really does not like it if he holds onto her in an overprotective way.
In this kind of situation I just try to remain calm and let PM know we will stay together. I do my best to show him how we are safe and reassure him that we will stay together. I figure someday it won’t be such a big issue for him. When I am calm about it I can just appreciate his concern and love and feel blessed that he is exactly the way he is. When I’m uptight about the situation I think it would do me some good to give myself a big dose of compassion and understanding so that I have more to pass onto the kids. I’m working on that.
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