Medicine has its place. Or does it?

Many people believe that doctors and the medical system are good to fall back on in the case of broken bones and other fixit type problems. I struggle with this still.

Last week when I sprained my ankle there was the question as to whether it was broken. The way the pain was so specific in certain areas and the reaction I had when it happened made me wonder. At the same time I felt that if it was broken it would heal just fine on its own. Then I start to wonder. T also feels great concern and says that if it’s broken I need to be taking better care of it and not using it.

So I break down and go to the hospital. Bad timing. It is busy and they are backed up. After waiting for over two hours I finally get in. Doctor sees me for 1 minute and sends me for x-rays. The technician takes me along and x-rays my foot in many angles. I am freaking out with concern for the radiation my poor body is enduring. Here all I have is this small apron to protect me and it doesn’t even go halfway up my body.

X-rays are done and I am put back in the room where I wait for over an hour. In that time I am freaking out. I want out of this place. I feel anxiety at being there, concern for T and the kids (LB didn’t understand what was going on and wasn’t used to me being gone for this long). I am in tears and the longer I wait the more intense the anxiety gets. Finally the doctor shows up, tells me I am in luck and it is a sprain and tells me what kind of drugs I can take. Less than a minute later I am going to the phone as quick as possible for T to come pick me up.

The next day of course my foot felt a bit better (as it had each day) and I was full of regrets for my time in the hospital. Terrorized. What a waste of time. I was blasted with radiation for no reason. I should have waited for longer before going to the hospital.

Then after many regrets I realize that it has offered me some peace of mind. I am not seriously harming bones by using my foot. These pains which can be more severe at times are part of the sprain. I would be questioning if all was ok. Each time I touch down the wrong way or feel pain radiating through my foot I would wonder. I have an answer and it offers that peace of mind (along with the anxiety and total unrest for the procedure to get here).

Years back I had hurt my leg. I didn’t do anything in particular for healing but it was taking a long time. Weeks after it happened I finally broke down and went to get it looked at. Of course everything was fine and the day after it was looked at the pain finally started to subside.

A friend was recently dealing with some postpartum issues that seemed to drag on and on. She was concerned as some things had happened after the baby came out and she wondered if this was the reason for the problems. Finally she breaks down and sees the doctor and has an ultrasound. The following day the pain eased up and the problems went away.

So we get that peace of mind and it helps with the healing. How far are we though from truly listening to our intuition and beliefs that all is well? The second guessing. Others opinions. The possibilities and potential problems. It was easy for me to look back and say I never should have gone to the hospital in the first place. Hindsight is 20/20. Before I went I had questions but would they have been less if I hadn’t been influenced by others? Would the concerns have continued on over time until I finally broke down and had myself checked out? Who knows?

I decided that I don’t want to have to be in this kind of situation again. If I were I would not want to go to that environment for answers. I can look at that and see anger talking. Or is it the part of me that just wants to trust myself and my own inner answers?

Then a week later I am distracted by a fight brewing between the kids and chomp the knife down on my thumb. Ouch. Luckily I know that all my thumb needs is time and I may lose that part of skin or it may stay intact. Signs of imbalance in the system. Slow down and chill out Shera!


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