I had enough of that cwap, Paco

This has been heard by LB many, many times. Never seems to make a difference. Never made a difference either when I first spoke these words to PM many days previous. And I can say that the words were not spoken with the calm voice that LB continues to repeat over and over again (well she speaks them when she is not overtired or hungry or overwhelmed or unhappy or feeling harassed which has not been terribly often the past few days. Her common response is an ear-splitting shriek.) When I used those words I have no doubt I was yelling out of pure frustration. Ohhhh so frustrated.

‘Your name is…’ over and over and over and over and over (well you get the idea) again. ‘Your name is Whack!’ ‘Your name is Telephone!’ ‘Your name is Gobbledygook!’ ‘Your name is Bang!’ And many other ‘names’. This is all to LB and she is frustrated by it and often shrieks. I am over the top hearing it as well. I am over the top hearing her shrieks. Now to be fair to PM (this is not easy these days) she does shriek for a variety of other reasons – he has something that she wants, she has something that he wants (those with two or more kids know this can often be a constant), he is harassing her in some other way, the kittens are running away from her, and so on…

So yes I’ve had enough of this crap! So has Thomas. And I feel powerless to change it. I have tried ignoring it. I have tried talking to PM about it. I have tried yelling (to the point my throat hurts). I have cried about it. I have used threats (not proud of this one but threatening to lock him in the porch so I can have some peace). Seconds later I hear it again ‘Your name is…’. My common response is ‘Paco!’ in a stern voice – useless.

Ahh if only I were the perfect parent that had the perfect connection with my kids with limitless patience, flawless communication skills, and kids that were always perfectly well-behaved and always got along like little angels. I suppose we are still human and haven’t received perfection yet…

Size Classifications

The kids have their own ways of sorting out the sizes of things. They are baby, boy, mother and daddy. Say we are talking about zucchini from the garden and there is a really huge one then it would be considered a big, big daddy one – otherwise the words stand on their own. This started back when LB was more the baby and PM would get the boy size of whatever and LB would get the baby size. They also have my body separated out into the ‘boy booby’ and the ‘baby booby’ though this is one place where size is not part of the picture – at least I don’t think so!

Pounding the Pavement

The other day I went with the kids to get some copies of a flyer advertising my bookkeeping and office services. I mentioned to them that we would walk around town together and distribute them. PM thought this was great. He was really looking forward to it and kept asking when we were going to do this. Luckily it was only the day after doing the copying.

He took a canvas bag with a folder inside that had the flyers. He put this around his neck and was all set. The three of us walked into stores and businesses and dropped off the flyers. He thought this was great and didn’t want to stop. Many of the store folk thought this was great as well and he received extra attention and polite and enthusiastic responses.

We covered a fair bit of ground in one day and got most of downtown done with another area as well. Today I figured we would finish up downtown. There wasn’t much to do and when we were about done PM was not ready to finish up. He convinced me that we had to do the other little strip malls that I had mentioned the day before. Talk about task driver.

LB enjoyed the ride and was carried around as she wasn’t into walking. One of the discussions on places was about the ‘’meh-l’. ‘I don’t like that meh-l’ she proclaimed loudly as we walked into an office with the smell of office smoke. We all agreed we didn’t like the smell of the Chinese restaurants. We went to an esthetics and nail shop and in the back room was a man just putting on a surgical mask. LB did not like that monster and was scared for a while that we would go back there. She kept repeating over and over – ‘Don’t like that monster’.

I thought, after I did the photocopying, that 100 copies was probably excessive, however PM counted the ones leftover today and there were only 26. I think this is the first time I have ever actively walked around like this in an attempt to get work. In the past it has been filling out an application here or there or faxing resumes. We shall see what this brings and I’m sure with PM pushing me we will be able to get rid of the flyers that remain…

Live, Love, Laugh

Walking along with the kids this morning and they were up ahead a bit. LB was riding her tricycle and PM came along and started pulling her along. The trike would half tip occasionally but they were laughing and having fun with it. A ‘Be Careful’ started to come out of my mouth but turned into more of a mumble. Yes, I could see potential accidents which would likely end with LB in tears. How often is it that kids are running around playing and having a grand old time and someone ends up in tears because of an accident?

I also realized at the same time they were in the moment and enjoying their play together. They were both having fun and were oblivious to the ‘what if’s’. There’s so much freedom in that place.

There was a time that I would swing around on the jungle gyms in all directions and would give parents a few 'heart in mouth' occasions. I felt safe and had fun. I was active and athletic and young and wasn’t concerned about the ‘what if’s’. I enjoyed running from rock to rock in the streams and was balanced in my movements.

What happened to that? Well many things really, most of which seem to be life and consciousness. Reality and maturity and puberty. My steps are more measured. I see more of what can go wrong. There is more fear in me.

Do I want to speed up this ‘consciousness’ and ‘fear’ in my kids? There is a way to let them experience life and they will learn what works and what doesn’t. They will have accidents occasionally. I can’t shield them from the world and instilling fear isn’t going to do much good either.

What does saying ‘be careful’ achieve anyway? Do I want to take their fun away from them? Do I want them to stop playing? There is much joy in watching the spontaneous enjoyment of kids. Let them keep it as long as possible and always remember the freedom of playing and laughing. Reminds me of a necklace I had that said ‘LIVE LOVE LAUGH’ – simple words to live by.

Our newest family members

Whew I realize it has been a long while since I’ve written anything here. One of my excuses is our new family members. A week ago we adopted two baby kittens. Most evenings when I finally make it to the computer (which has also been later than usual as my already busy life now has more distractions and more things to do) I have two little warm bodies that like to curl up in my lap. Also I have been falling behind on the basics of upkeep on the computer. My inbox is growing and the messages that are unread also continue to multiply. Time spent in the kitchen seems greater and though I say things are going to change I haven’t quite figured out how to put that into motion yet.

But let me say these kittens are adorable. They are very young. I didn’t realize how young they were when we got them. I was under the impression they were about 7 weeks old (when I met the woman that had them she said they were around 6 weeks and a week had passed). It turns out they are now just 6 weeks and we’ve had them a week. I feel bad that we took them away from their mom so soon.

The little boy is Mojo. He is white and tabby (I had decided I didn’t want the usual tabby – ya know the brown and black ones and that’s what I got) and adorable and affectionate and playful and well, he’s a kitten. He adapted very well to the change. He does like to have contact with others. When the kids are playing he is generally right there playing along. When he gets tired he will find a spot that is preferably touching another but if not then he is close by. Just before coming to the computer he fell asleep on the kitchen floor close to my feet where I was standing. If PM is sitting reading or playing with his ‘guys’ or Lego Mojo will sleep very close to him.

The little girl is Star. She is a black calico. Bits of rust colour on her with a little spot of white on her tail, mouth and one white paw. For her, the adjustment to the new environment was harder. For the first day she was hiding out wherever she could find a spot that seemed safe and well covered. I felt so bad that it was so hard on her. I felt like we had made a mistake in taking her away. Within a couple of days though she was charging all over the place, eating well (though that seems to be up and down) and always playing with her brother.

The two of them are either sleeping or playing. They will wake up (or more likely be woken up by the kids) and play around then crash again. Occasionally they will make their way to the food for a quick nibble.

At first LB was a bit more observing of them but keeping her distance (she had been scratched when we were first visiting the kittens). But now she is constantly all over them. I found there was too much of my interfering with the kids and the kittens. Stop! Gentle! Put them down! Listen to what they are saying! They don’t want to be picked up like that! And on and on… She picks them up and plunks them down in the litter box. Sometimes it looks like she is mauling them. Sometimes they complain a little and other times they just accept it. Mojo is more likely to let her take him all over whereas Star will meow a bit more at this. The kittens are not being hurt (if they yelp I definitely step in) though perhaps they could be carried in a nicer way or even left alone for a minute or two. I’m sure we will work it out. At first I was concerned about the kittens being totally traumatized and now I trust they will fight back if it really doesn’t work for them (or run away and hide).

All in all we are thrilled with our kitties (well I’m not sure about Thomas)…

Saving the best till last

The kids are both quite different in how they approach treats or things they like. If I give them something like a homemade trail mix LB will immediately go for the pieces she likes out of it (ya know the sweeter things like raisins, cranberries or apricots) and depending on her mood she may or may not eat the other bits and pieces (though she does like many nuts and seeds). She just chomps away paying little attention to anything other than her enjoyment (that is as long as she hasn’t had a major meltdown because she didn’t get the right amount or some other factor that sets her off into a puddle of tears and a terror of screams).

PM on the other hand will inspect what he has and then decides the order in which he will eat them. He will save the best till last. He may even save it for a long period of time and savour it. He has been known to make a dried fig or sweet bar (heck even a chewable vitamin C) last for hours as he goes and takes a taste of it ever so often or holds it in his mouth and sucks the sweetness out of it. He also prefers to eat his dinner in a more methodical way and eats the potatoes first and then vegetables with the meat often coming first (assuming it’s an average ‘meat and potatoes’ meal which is a basic for him since he’s not big on rice or other grains unless it’s pasta).

We all eat balanced in the end but just have different ways of going about it…