Menstrual Musing

Emotions are more strung at this time. The third time now since the conception of Linsy almost 3 years ago. The yearning to procreate that comes with the ability. The desire to conceive one more time is strongest during ovulation and the sadness of failure then comes with the blood. Somehow the blessings of being feminine and having the capacity to bleed on a monthly cycle are left in the dust when the desire to be pregnant is not fulfilled.

In earlier years this was not a time to slow me down. I bought into the messages that life goes on regardless of what time of the month it is. No change in pace. Now it is not so easy. My body is saying slow down. Take it easy. Take a break. My moods are more fragile. My temper is easier to set off. The children are the same as ever and they don’t take a break. Life goes on as normal but my body is asking for less. Energy levels are lower. Even something as simple as being on my feet can be more draining.

This is new to me to be so strongly affected by my cycles and yet a pleasure to be in touch with my body. It awakens in me the desire to honour myself in even more ways. To really listen to who I am and what is right for me. To find the way to meet my needs while meeting the needs of those around me.

It is possible (heck didn’t I just post about that a short while ago) and it is part of the journey.

Another rainy day

January 29, 2006

We had an interesting morning. Nothing special, just a bit different than usual. Paco decided his breakfast didn’t work for him so we went back to the kitchen to get him something different. I decided to use his ‘old’ breakfast in cookies. Had a bowl of egg whites on the counter and somehow Paco managed to put his hand in the bowl and in the process knocked it on the floor. His hand is covered in egg and there’s egg white gooped on the floor and more slopping down from the counter. What does Paco do but start to shake his hand wildly to get the egg off. Stop!! So not only is there egg on counter and floor but Paco is shaking it all over the kitchen. Arghhh! (Yes this is a common feeling/word in parenting.)

So the kids eat breakfast while we make cookies. Paco figures he needs to use his hands to shape the cookies on the tray (at least he understands to wash his hands first). The tray is full of cookies shaped by hand and Paco’s hands are full of dough. What does he do when he’s done? Why shake his hands of course. Stop!! Now there’s dough on the wall, on the counters, on the cupboards. Will they ever learn? Luckily I was not jumping out of my skin as I have been known to and was patient with the extra mess. I kinda like baking but more like it was this morning – just throwing ingredients together and seeing what the result is.

A rainy day today so our ‘play time’ is in the basement instead of outdoors. For those that have finished basements it probably seems quite natural to spend time there. In this house the basement is unfinished. Pretty scruffy looking with a low ceiling (if I’m standing upright I will hit my head) in some places due to heating pipes (not the right word but I was thinking heating plumbing and know they don’t go together either). We have the rebounder down there and the stroller attachment for the car seat which has only been used by the kids for play since I bought it and whatever else they find to play with. Boxes for ‘snacking’ on (the kids will grab ‘bites’ of them and offer me mouthfuls to which I am expected to make appropriate eating and appreciation noises), space to run around, nice hard concrete floor to fall on (not that comfy for running on either), step ladder to climb on and whatever other tools they decide to bring down. Paco likes to be the garbage man and leave bits of garbage lying around which he will come by with the garbage truck (stroller) to pick up.

Being inside means we didn’t get to the ‘bee-ode’ (Linsy term for field) where there is a row of cedar trees with a path/walkway in the middle. There is also a pit there. They enjoy that space in their home (between the trees) with their tools (whatever they can find) and then go to work in the pit. The calmer winter weather (if you call it winter) has been a real treat because it is comfortable to hang out outside for a while rather than freezing uncomfortably.

Some days there is a flow to the day and we get along well even it there are tantrums and the usual dose of ‘NO’. Other days I question my sanity, end up raising my voice too much, feel worn out and like the world’s worst mother by the end of the day. Luckily today was the former. There are times where it changes from one minute to the next as well. And the crazy thing is I would do it over again if given the choice.

Toe Jam

I get a kick out of watching Linsy inspect between her toes. She doesn't like to wear clothes and that includes socks. I have, however, explained to her that if she wants toe jam she has to wear socks. Sometimes she will acquiesce to wearing them but then takes them off within minutes to inspect between her toes. I guess it's partially an age thing. I remember when Paco was just under 2 and realized that he could find treasures in his nose. For a while it was a regular thing (especially when he had a cold) and then it loses its novelty and on to other habits.

The things we do...

Tidbits of the two kids

January 9, 2006

A while back I was trying to remember examples of Linsy’s 3 word sentences. Couldn’t. It didn’t take long for me to remember the main sentence these days. I will ask Linsy if she wants to do something (bring this to dad? Go put this in the living room?) and she will look me square in the face and say ‘No, you do it’. Very clear, succinct and direct. OK – I will do it myself. Now if only I had that option when it came to getting her to pee on the potty.

The holiday season was exciting – mostly for Paco as he understands more about what is going on. Best of all is of course the presents. Luckily we don’t get inundated with gifts (as long as I don’t start buying too many things) but we have so much stuff to start off with.

Paco got a road grader which has been zooming all around outside clearing a path, getting stuck in snow and keeping Paco well entertained. Putting things together and taking them apart is a great past time for Paco as well. Lego is a definite bonus. He got some more Lego sets and I noticed that now we are into a new age group and the pieces are smaller and the guys (those oh so important characters) are smaller and have more pieces as well. Speaking of little pieces! They travel here and there. One of their big modes of transportation is via Linsy. The smallest pieces (you may know them they are smaller than a pea) are her favourite. She will fill her little paws with them and go off somewhere. Within days of receiving a new set many are missing. Then there’s the issue of vacuuming. After tidying up I will crawl around on hands and knees looking for any Lego bits (yes those ones that camouflage perfectly as carpet flecks) that might have been missed. Then I hear the vacuum cleaner as it goes ‘clink, clank’ yum that was a delicious snack and I wonder if that was a Lego piece that I missed. Sometimes I think I care more about this than Paco does. One of the sets Paco got has many different variations of trucks. We make them up and then take them down and make up different ones and take them apart and on and on. He’s pretty good at putting the trucks together but likes to have me there to put the pieces he needs in front of him. And taking these little pieces apart! There’s got to be an easier way. My thumb nail is all chewed up.

Paco is pretty good at following the ‘inconstructions’. As much as I have tried to show him there are two different words – instruction and construction he can’t say the word instruction. It is either constructions or inconstructions. He is getting better at sitting and doing the more complicated Lego trucks on his own. Ever so often he wants help finding pieces or taking pieces apart but he can do it on his own.

Paco got another wooden set that can make different vehicles (loader or helicopter or motorbike or plane) and this is another thing that we make and break constantly. I am surprised that he still has a hard time with closing or tightening. He was quite young when he started opening jars and containers (younger than a year) but it seemed to take much much longer for him to get the idea that going in the opposite direction will also yield results. So when it comes to turning the screw to tighten the parts together he will go around and around and around until I tell him to change directions to make it tighter. As Thomas said he’s into demolition.

Then again he’s also backwards when it comes to writing and putting letters together. He prefers to go from right to left. We will make up cards and it happens that he starts writing on the write side. More often than not now he will ask which side to start on. But he still needs to ask. Reminds me of an incident as a teenager when I asked a friend if there were 365 or 356 days in a year. She asked me and I gave the wrong answer – so she bopped me on the head. I don’t forget that anymore but do have a tendency to get mixed up on things sometimes (I have to think of which is the stove and which is the oven).

Speaking of backwards, have I mentioned that Linsy is upside down? For the most part she will take a book and turn it upside down to read it. She will start at the first page and turn the pages from front to back but she will look at it upside down. So many times I will turn it right way round for her and sometimes she will actually resist and want to keep it upside down. I guess we’re just mixed up folk that don’t follow what is expected of us!

During the winter it seems we spend more time in the basement. This is somewhat of a substitute for being outside. It’s unusual to go downstairs without Linsy expecting to hang out there for at least 15 minutes. Often what we will do is run around and around. Linsy was running in front of me and I noticed she kept crossing her arms. She sure looked awkward that way and I wondered why she was running with her arms crossed. Then I realized she was just copying me. When I run (or slow jog is perhaps more accurate) I use my arms as anchors to ‘stop the flop’. They are pressed into my chest to keep me a bit more still and so Linsy was just copying that movement. I laugh when I see her do it now as she definitely doesn’t have any breasts to keep down and it’s funny to watch her swing around with her arms crossed as she zooms around the basement.